Dear As Long As There's (sic) Sidewalks, I'll Have A Job.

You're a nice blog. Sorry I don't write here anymore. I'm busy. But they say absence makes the heart grow fonder/hole wider. They being Chaucer & me.

The title was not a prostitution reference as many (two or three probably) think. It was an allusion to the fact that as a young performer, you're forced to pound the pavement looking for work. Not that tricking was outta the question for an above-scale guest star (read it and you'll see).

I hope you enjoyed my adventures from 2004-2012. In those seven years, I became who I wanted to (mostly) and got to write it about it. I thank anyone, especially the Boxmeat, Drag Queens & those who take Vice of all natures seriously, who wants to read about the vignettes and shit-shows that comprised all these posts. It will stay up until I take it down.

Bye.

Willam

Who Whored It Better: Hanna Barbera edition

See here's the thing. I don't REALLY suck at makeup. My mother was actually half Thundercat so I'm technically a quarter Thundercat. Sometimes it shows through. I'm giving strong Liono when I shoulda been going for Cheetara.

So you think i dress like a whore?

My body is like a big blue ribbon i won because i had to work for it. At 13 years old, I was 5'3" and 207lbs. So yea. I'm gonna be wearing hoe-tastic shit and have my body out.

Abs are an accessory. Deal.

best-WILLAM

BYE

Yea, I BYE'd RuPaul...but here's what really went down on ep 4.2:

Right before I said BYE, The Princess was asked to lip-sync. RuPaul then told me I was safe and I asked him if i could lip-sync for The Princess because I was the team captain and wanted to take responsibility (I have no clue if The Princess would've let me but I wanted to offer). But Ru, without even making eye contact said "You're going off script" and as soon as he got out the last word i was like ok peace in my head so i just threw out a "BYE" and walked off.

so yea. My tone was very pointed when i said Bye but i was just looking to get the fuck into the safe zone behind the runway

Playing Hookers on TV

So I haven't played tranny hookers on every cop show I've done. I'm super wrong. I've played Tranny Hookers on many shows but mostly non-cop ones (Comedy Central's American Body Shop, HDNet's Svetlana, CW's Related)

As for cop shows, I've guest starred as a showgirl on Women's Murder Club, Cold Case, Wonder Woman and CSI. Playing the owner of Sheila's Closet on Southland meant I got my wig jacked by Russian thugs but it was a hoot. Oh y'know what. I was a tranny hooker on The District for 2 eps. Jacklyn Smith was my attorney (will you grab that name that just fell on the floor?). I played a male hustlers on The Shield and Criminal Minds though. That's what I call RANGE!

Does type-casting have a hyphen?

My dude.

Love means sometimes ya get hit...and with my mouth, I understand why. lol.

I love my boyfriend. happy 9 years together.

Willam's Word of the Day

ENGORGEOUSED (en-gor-jhustd) adj. 1. the state of being big and beautiful. 2. rotundabley cute.

Let's use it in a sentence:

I heard crunching in my backseat while Vicky Vox was killing a can of Pringles and when i looked in the rearview mirror, she was still engorgeoused with her makeup perfectly still in place happily chewing.

you're welcome.

WILLAM

Jersey Shoresical one mo' 'gain.

Come see the Jersey Shoresical: A Frickin' Rock Opera at the NY Fringe Fest's Encore Series. We won best ensemble so they want us back. We're good at winning and drinking and being loud..

http://www.ticketweb.com/snl/Search.action?query=jersey+shoresical

Get them now! We will sell out. J-WoWW guarantees it.

Fistpump.