thanksgiving

Spending the holidays with the family is always wonderful.
Spending the family with your boyfriend at a fancy shmancy hotel (www.sfpalace.com) and hitting the infamous Nob Hill Theatre (www.nobhilltheatre.com) is even more wonderful.
Boy, was i stuffed!
I met a nice fellow who i nicknamed "The Turnstile." He did not take tickets, nor was his purpose that of keeping track of how many people entered. He was more aptly named for his rescemblence to the mechanical structure of the actual device.

what good is sitting alone in your trailer when Liza is next door?....fuck she's cool! 

Liza with an OHmyFUCKIN Icon

So i met Liza Minnelli today when working on Arrested Development and she was cute as a button. Does not look to be in her late 50's at all (for whatever reason...who knows...i had lipo @ 20 so it's not like surgery is a taboo thing).
She was funny as all hell on her lines and is sharp as a tack. I didn't see any signs of the drunk the press portrays her as sometimes and I don't think she was dipping into Mama Judy's party mix at all....
Not a bad way to spend the day. Work for 5 hours on a set for $250 and food, then go to a party and see all the people i know who overuse the word fabulous....with an open bar though so it's entirely tolerable. My best friend, Dawne Marrie, was there with me and was kind enough to keep me from making out with stray fat girls (we had an incident with these very circumstances last time vodka and us were involved). Good night now!

audition # 500 something

i've been on over 5oo auditions in my life. From that statement you can either take the following:
a) wow he's persistent and it pays to be a hard worker
b) he must suck ass and be totally in the dark about it.
sometimes i think b, but mostly A. thank God for reels....whenever i'm down, i just pop it in and watch a DVD compilation of ME. Take a shot every time i do something that induces cringing. you'll be loaded by the time you get to my second failed pilot.
So today I went to an open call for the musical Ruthless....no clue what the show was about, if i'm right for it, or where exactly the audition was being held at. I drove around North Hollywood for 15 minutes looking for it until I saw a big old red headed drag queen outside a nasty old dance hall and then realized i had found it. GOD I HOPE I GET IT....eh fuck it....i went in and sang and then gorged myself on a whole entenmann's coffee cake.....but what a workout purging is..i really broke a sweat.

One of these boys ain't like the other. I'm the one you'd be least likely want to fuck in this picture 

i got some Tamyra Grey beef

ok....so this girl, right. She's been following me. I auditioned for American Idol the same season she did (she got on and all but i'm thinking total fluke).

I audition for Boston Public and get the part. I didn't even read the whole script....Just the good parts (i.e. the ones i'm in). I wait for my episode to air and who the hell do i see in the commercials? NAHT ME! That's right. Miss Tamyra follow-my-ass-to-weave-store Grey

I book a part on the WB show What I Like About You last month (drag queens work a lot in October when all the very-special Halloween episodes are taping) and who do i see in a bigger wig than mine when I get to set?
No, not Justin Guarini you stupid fuck (sorry i'm jealous/bitter)
Tamyra.

So i'm sure someone who reads this knows her. Tell her I date a lawyer....it's more than coincidence at this point.

(sidenote after shot(S) of warm vodka- maybe there was a mixup and i was meant to have her career and she was meant to sling dollars in a nightclub...i swear i had a great childhood. no need unmet but i still want attention from people going through my trash, too....because it's expensive to pay others to do it when the photographers aren't even going to bother to show up.

Halloween was crap. i worked at a club and the lighting made me look green when in reality, i was a one-eyed, one-horned, PURPLE people-eater. fucking drunks thought i was a ugly dinosaur or something 

i'm a blogger

So I read about faggots in DC, San Diego, LA, NYC and even florida (red states don't deserve capital letters).
I'm finally deciding that online porn and trying to get a great new gig offa craig's list ain't gonna happen so why not document my struggle day to day (mostly noon to 3am).
I'm a real douchebag once you get to know me.
Welcome to my world. I'll even let you bring tweezers.