drunk by noon. makes me miss grandma
Myboyfriend borrowed my car today so I took the Metro. Now LA public transportation is different from NYC. I got on the escalator and some Asian lady (wearing knee socks and sandals) started talking to me....and this not being NYC, people don't know that you move on the left and stay stationary on the right. So I'm trapped with Little Chang Talk-a-lot. She says, "Buddha has smile on his face because he vegetarian." I stare blankly and say, "So." She says I'd be happier without meat (how she nows whether I eat meat I have no clue). I proceed to fully turn around and tell her that I get plenty of the meat I need from my boyfriend and that people like her ruin other people's otherwise peaceful commute. I don't think she understood because she just said back, "Smile!"
So I called her a freak on the subway platform and told her to, "Get the fuck away from me" and tagging it with an additional "You fuckin freak."
A subway cop was there and looked at me like he was gonna say something but I just put up my hand like I was Mariah Carey at the end of a riff and said, "It's too fuckin hot for these assholes."
He chuckled. Usually, I would take that as a sign I should continue talking to him and maybe fellate him behind the subway map but my cold sore prevents me from being that friendly at this juncture of my day.