OK. So i drinks a bit. Like the Mr Bojangles song. You don't know it? Well fuck off (but keep reading..i can't afford to lose a one of you, my precious readers)
Working at la MJ's last night, I happened upon a broke-down, drag queen who's grille looked like she'd been chewing rocks. Her weave was stank and one might characterize it as "piss-poor." Her name was Chanda Lear. Lear? Fuck, I didn't even want to look. Anyway, She inspired me to finally get moving on some projects I've been meaning to do (ever since those damn producers left me high and dry on putting up Betsy Ross: Flag my Ass
, my one whoa-man show.)
First, some back story. Through Seana and Nat, I met a a gay guy who used to host Curb Appeal
, an HGTV show about the appearances of house when they go up for sale. I guess he got fired or something. I thought it would be fun to get him to host a Tranny-Curb Appeal
. Y'know, passed out drunk trannies in gutters. There'd be a smelly Del Taco punta, a Shakey's Pizza whore who smelled slightly of dumpster Parmasean and urine. Prospective Johns would venture by and say what they would spend on each particular whore...Whatever whore got the highest bid would get an elegant sash and an Origami crown made from LA Express Ads. The loser gets clubbed with Bill's butt plug (which also provides gorgeous, brunette lowlights in the process...i know, that's crude...but Bill hasn't read his good bottom handbook which clearly states that a good bottom never eats after 7 pm.)
I'm also thinking of making trading cards, much like the Garbage Pail Kids, called Trash Can Trannies. All the fave's would be there. Cumdump Connie, Messie Tessie and DiDi DP (Didi is brilliant Director of Photography on Tranny Curb Appeal and conviently enough, can also take two cocks at a time in the gorge she calls a man-puss.)
I'm also thinking of including some already chewed gum w/ genuine transexual DNA, and at least 3 other specimens of various friends/johns.
Card profits will also benefit Warts for Wanda fund. They just keep popping up despite our montly nail clipper prunings.