Aaanhd I am tellin you...i ate peanuts
I have a new obsession other than getting waitresses fired
***backstory-fuckin bitch giggles like a geisha when I asked if there were peanuts in my food. Apparently all Thai food has peanuts but even if it didn't, they don't wash out the wok (which looked surprisingly like a Home Depot tin trash can lid that was sledded on). Bitch giggled "oh yea. Peanut in everything!" I guess the fact that I had to lay on the floor because of the chest pain was hilarious to her. I told the bitch exactly what I wanted in my food and she chose to not to relay my order correctly. I bet she thinks shallow breathing and the fact that I got hives is like the funniest thing since bologna slapped on naked ass. I hope she finds filling out those tough English-only unemployment forms equally enjoyable.
Anyway, I'm at home resing comfortably now and clicking around youtube.com.
I've found many enjoyable things that you also may like. I've subcatergorized them for the stupid and/or straight
1. DIVAS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC_u_q-iND0&search=dreamgirls
It's an excerpt from Dreamgirls which features a bone-thin Loretta Devine. But watch closely. There's a hole with some lipstick on it in one of Jennifer Holiday's chin (the one 3rd from the top) that somehow gapes and tremors while glorious music sounds forth from it. It's really amazing.
2. BLOOPERS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax0lFn2hMKc&search=michelle%20falls%20R
Really a subcatergory of #1 because it includes some divas.
Love how Beyonce does not miss a step when her bandmate falls. Sorry group-mate. they don't play instruments (Actually, let's just take it to the mat. Her Backup. Beyonce's backup. Everyone knows all they let poor Michelle do is sing the bridge of every song. Would it have killed you to give the girl a verse or even a chorus. Shit Beyonce. She's not fat like Effie or anything).
3. BITCHES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFMht18fmLA&search=ashlee%20mcdonalds
Ooops Trashlee. Camera's on. Next time, when you need a rat meat and arm hair burger, try and make sure your public doesn't get a glimpse at how you treat people. I always make sure there's no one around when I beat my nail lady. Bitch tries to charge me more because she has to use all thumbnails on my big man hands cause the normal size lady nails don't fit. Waaaait...Now that I think about it that Thai waitress looks sorta like my nail lady. Oh shit. Karma.
***backstory-fuckin bitch giggles like a geisha when I asked if there were peanuts in my food. Apparently all Thai food has peanuts but even if it didn't, they don't wash out the wok (which looked surprisingly like a Home Depot tin trash can lid that was sledded on). Bitch giggled "oh yea. Peanut in everything!" I guess the fact that I had to lay on the floor because of the chest pain was hilarious to her. I told the bitch exactly what I wanted in my food and she chose to not to relay my order correctly. I bet she thinks shallow breathing and the fact that I got hives is like the funniest thing since bologna slapped on naked ass. I hope she finds filling out those tough English-only unemployment forms equally enjoyable.
Anyway, I'm at home resing comfortably now and clicking around youtube.com.
I've found many enjoyable things that you also may like. I've subcatergorized them for the stupid and/or straight
1. DIVAS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kC_u_q-iND0&search=dreamgirls
It's an excerpt from Dreamgirls which features a bone-thin Loretta Devine. But watch closely. There's a hole with some lipstick on it in one of Jennifer Holiday's chin (the one 3rd from the top) that somehow gapes and tremors while glorious music sounds forth from it. It's really amazing.
2. BLOOPERS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ax0lFn2hMKc&search=michelle%20falls%20R
Really a subcatergory of #1 because it includes some divas.
Love how Beyonce does not miss a step when her bandmate falls. Sorry group-mate. they don't play instruments (Actually, let's just take it to the mat. Her Backup. Beyonce's backup. Everyone knows all they let poor Michelle do is sing the bridge of every song. Would it have killed you to give the girl a verse or even a chorus. Shit Beyonce. She's not fat like Effie or anything).
3. BITCHES
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFMht18fmLA&search=ashlee%20mcdonalds
Ooops Trashlee. Camera's on. Next time, when you need a rat meat and arm hair burger, try and make sure your public doesn't get a glimpse at how you treat people. I always make sure there's no one around when I beat my nail lady. Bitch tries to charge me more because she has to use all thumbnails on my big man hands cause the normal size lady nails don't fit. Waaaait...Now that I think about it that Thai waitress looks sorta like my nail lady. Oh shit. Karma.
posted by willam at 1:53 PM
7 Comments:
This must'a happened last night, cause you looked fabulous on Sunday afternoon! I saw no evidece of hives and did not notice any shallow breathing, although, your skirt so short that the world was your gynecologist. Good thing that you have a great ass and lovely gams. Love ya. Kisses. Muah!
gams? is that a new term for balls? -mop
gams=legs. Did you never see Clueless with Alicia Silverstone anonymous?
Anyway, side splittingly funny post as always. Well not the peanut allergy part but the thumbnails and karma part.
I heart you Willam.
oh ok, I thought he was complimenting Willams nutsack. -mop
Nope. Wasn't complimenting the nutsack, cause I knew that It would be airbrushed or photoshopped out of the picture, just like the prior time that involved a photo shoot with "technical difficulties". But you didn't hear it from me, cause I ain't one to gossip.
gams? is that a new term for balls? -mop
rofl! I suppose if enough people got together and started using it to mean 'balls' we could really confuse a lot of people!
I knew you were my white twin sister!
I love getting bitches fired, too.
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