PDX was full of DXCKS
We went to a diner and this dykey looking bitch in flannel asked my two friends and I for our order.
After she walked back I saw her lean over and then point. (pointing's rude) She motioned to me and whispered something obviously about me to her co-worker. I, of course, felt compelled to respond in my signature way : Yelling. I gently stroked the fur and smiled. “Yes it’s real & I don’t’ feel bad at all." I threw in that my dad actually made me eat rabbit meat too too so it's not like I was some wasteful bitch. She countered back with it’s “like wearing a pet.“ I said “you ever hear the term Fuck like Rabbits? Yea…that means there’s tons to spare. Bunnies for days girl. Not like they’re endangered.“
It was weird. She was as mouthy as me and risking her tip.
I then decided to really piss her off and change my order. “May I have a vagitarian omelet please with…OOOH. Did I say VAGITARIAN? I meant vegetarian. Ooops.” I wasn’t drunk but it was funnier out loud.
My friends were mortified. My publicist Dawne recommended that I just tell people it’s fake. I gagged. I tried to reason with her rash statement. I like my place at the top of the food chain.
I’d rather Dolce or Gabbana come over from Italy and personally gay bash me than to say it’s faux.
Other than that little misadventure, Portland was fun. Tons of vintage stores. I asked one where the designer section was and they pointed me to a rack of J Crew.
I politely stepped outside.