1. I'VE HAD NASTY THINGS IN MY MOUTH (I licked a tail pipe in a game of truth or dare)
2. I'VE HARMED ANIMALS (I fed a horse an apple that 10 minutes earlier had been employed as my bong. I'm pretty sure he was fine and it was totally not my fault because I was stoned at the time, right?)
3. I'VE STOLEN (wigs, 40 milkcrates from a grocery store & the hearts of cable-watching Americans)
4. I'VE AUDITIONED DRUNK (I sang Aerosmith's Janie Got a Gun
at a CATS audition and then started to bark...like DOGS...cats...anyone? Yea...they didn't think it was funny either)
5. I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO PROMOTE
I now know that God made me do all those horrible things to prepare me for the only role I was meant to play in life.....the Tranny
in Rock of Ages
). It's debauched and hilarious and rocking all at the same time. Please come see it if you're in LA.
You can get half price tix @ www.goldstarevents.com
after filling out their brief registration form. Just search Rock of Ages. But to get VIP tix (attn: near the hot all(real)girl strippers!!!), you'll need to hit up the main site.
Seriously come see me folks. I'll never get to do a role like this again.
She sings, she dances, she dies.
Wait. That's Satine. Fuck it....come see me anyway