Dear Sally Hansen,
I think I've been good to you. I talked up your new spray foundations on Vegas' most listened to norning radio show. I affectionately called it Tranny-in-a-Can but I'm sure the listeners knew what I meant.
But as apt of a spokesperson as I am for your company, I feel that it's time for me to take a sabatical. I say 'feel' because that's precisely what I was doing to my eyebrows when over 20 individual hairs came out of them.
I'd like to commend you on the strength of your Brush-On Creme Hair Bleach. The fact that you spelled it Creme instead of Cream had me lost in such continental swoonings that I must've lost track of time.
May I gently suggest that you maybe word the warning differently. Can I suggest that you ammend the generic
I'm not super worried. I know my brows will go back to normal. I will not get litiguous on you all. In fact, I'd like to end this by complimenting you on the following warning I found on the box
"Do not use near eye or vaginal area. If bleach mixture gets into eyes, rinse immediately and thoroughly with cold water or boric acid solotion."
Three questions though:
1. Boric acid solution? Oh goody. Perfect timing! That 16 oz bottle is almost all huffed out but now I'll have to save those last drops just in case!
2. If despite your warning, I use in my vaginal area, can I use the whole get-the-bleach-outta-your-eye method of cold water and/or boric acid in there too? Provided it's me personally with the vagina, I'm guessing it would be brand new. Will the boric acid be bad for it?
3. Is the eyebrow considered the "eye area" technically? I mean just cause it has eye in it doesn't mean that's what you meant on the box right? You mean it for like douchebags who try and bleach their eyelashes and shit right?
love,
Cawillam Belli Bowles
But as apt of a spokesperson as I am for your company, I feel that it's time for me to take a sabatical. I say 'feel' because that's precisely what I was doing to my eyebrows when over 20 individual hairs came out of them.
I'd like to commend you on the strength of your Brush-On Creme Hair Bleach. The fact that you spelled it Creme instead of Cream had me lost in such continental swoonings that I must've lost track of time.
May I gently suggest that you maybe word the warning differently. Can I suggest that you ammend the generic
"Apply & wait 8 minutes"with a suffix? Maybe
"...or you will lose your damn brow, you dumb, vain ho"
I'm not super worried. I know my brows will go back to normal. I will not get litiguous on you all. In fact, I'd like to end this by complimenting you on the following warning I found on the box
"Do not use near eye or vaginal area. If bleach mixture gets into eyes, rinse immediately and thoroughly with cold water or boric acid solotion."
Three questions though:
1. Boric acid solution? Oh goody. Perfect timing! That 16 oz bottle is almost all huffed out but now I'll have to save those last drops just in case!
2. If despite your warning, I use in my vaginal area, can I use the whole get-the-bleach-outta-your-eye method of cold water and/or boric acid in there too? Provided it's me personally with the vagina, I'm guessing it would be brand new. Will the boric acid be bad for it?
3. Is the eyebrow considered the "eye area" technically? I mean just cause it has eye in it doesn't mean that's what you meant on the box right? You mean it for like douchebags who try and bleach their eyelashes and shit right?
love,
Cawillam Belli Bowles
posted by willam at 3:00 AM
3 Comments:
hehe reading your stuff is like listening to my sister talk! No wonder you and Lacee always got along so well! :-)
OMG that sounds scary.
I would have freaked out to no end.
-"bizarre" on LJ
God I haven't laughed so hard all day. My neighbor downstairs just got back from Thailand with HER new vagina (it has that new vagina smell - mmm mmm) and I can't wait to show her your blog. I thought I was methed up but now I'm sure I'm not the only one.
cheers
Post a Comment
<< Home