Aspirations of an Evil Genius & the Smacktress.
"They only take cash sweetheart" a husky voice bellows out from a black Hybrid also waiting. So I bend down and look in the window to ask about an ATM nearby. "Do you know where...You're Elizabeth Perkins!"
"Yes I am. We're trying to find a spot to get money too."
"Ohmygod I love your work. You made me jump on a trampoline in an evening gown."
"Really...?" comes through loud and clear in a deadpan.
"Yea...OK. I should probably shut up since your dealing with a car towing situation now too and leave you alone. Bye."
So I race off looking for an ATM, get out $550, and speed back. Now the impound fee was only $225. But my master plan was to stroll back up and say "Hey-hey Miss Perkins. I got some extra cash. Want me to cover it? Oh- here's my headshot too. How 'bout a one-liner on Weeds?"
But Miss Elizabeth Perkins had the building. I was sad because I really wanted to tell her she should have been Golden Globe'd last year. But it might be for the better. I realized that if I were in her shoes and a drag queen approached my car (twice!) at a tow lot in the Valley @ 2am, I'd leave too. I mean seriously. Laurel Canyon is cute but the Valley is where Cher got mugged in Clueless...I'm lucky she didn't turn into a smacktress. (i.e. Eva Gabor, Tawny Kitaen)