Active Idolatry.

One of my best friends, Josh Lamon, just got off from a tour of the musical Wicked. He was playing Boq, the character that turns into the Tin Man...that's an unnecessary bit of info but I just wanted to be clear that he's not some chorus boy.
His devotees have made a fan page for him on myspace. He's had montage/tribute videos posted on his page regarding his departure from the tour that made me think he was actually maybe dead, or at least afflicted with lymes disease or was maybe...well I don't know. I'm frankly a little drunk. It's obviousl because i'm for once talking about something other than myself.

But his fan page is super cool. I recommended that he have a bake sale and wear something skimpy to show his fans appreciation. My fans always dig that (dirty f'in Nip/Tuck'ers). I like to serve tres leches cake and always dip my ass in vinegar before the fans/guests queue up. I figure if they're gonna come out for a hot slice of tranny pie, it best have that special puck-ah!

I wish Josh luck at his fan gathering. I can't stress one more thing enough though. Like a 42 yr old stripper who wears a garter belt to cover her C-section scar, customers will want change. Get a roll of nickels and quarters. Dimes are for queers.

Now speaking of fans...(this has been edited in- not drunk anymore)

Nominate Willam for Out Magazine's Out 100 List!
Go here!

REASONS I SHOULD BE NOMINATED:

1. I'm super at being famous and haven't played a single tranny hooker this year. Just honest, hard working trannies. Good for the LGBT profile and shit.

2. I need press

3. I didn't have to do a reality show to get famous.

4. Everytime I entertain you, I make my grandmom confused as to why I'm dressed like that.

5. I'm a super pet owner. Today I spilled a slurpee on my St. Bernard while I was brushing his hair and I let him lick some of it off. I immediately hosed him off when I remembered said slurpee was made with banana puree, ice, and Veuve Cliquot.

6. You like me- you really like me. Or maybe You've liked me in the past. Maybe you've liked me real hard in the past. Or maybe I liked you once during Cinco de Mayo in an alley and you gave me a sombrero and a pat on the ass as a thank you.

Anyway- please vote!

Over the borough & through the 'hood...

I went to NYC for the weekend for business and pleasure. Got my highlights done by my colorist cousin who keeps the likes of Diane Sawyer and Leslie Stahl buttery. Went to my favorite store in the whole world and got earrings that rival croissants in size. Watched Kevin Connolly go in an airport bathroom in socks. I'm thinking ewww on that one FYI.

Let's go to tape though, shall we?


Went to see Legally Blonde the Musical for the 3rd time with my Tony-nominated friend Laura Bell Bundy as the lead. I made 3 little girls very happy by getting them backstage to meet her. I would've gotten a picture with LBB too but the little girls had to get back to the Hamptons (Also, forced to censor girls' faces because 2 outta 3 weren't wearing eyeliner).


Former doyenne of the porn world and now nightlife host Damon DeMarco got me listed for the white hot Mr Black party & got my picture taken with the institution that is The Ass. Then Mr Ass posted his pics from the evening and starfuckingly put up world-famous DJ Peter Rauhofer and me (Nip/Tuck fan) as his night's hightlight.

Found 3 different fringy-type stores on E. 59th Street between 2nd and 3rd.

Unfortnately, my return to Los Angeles cut short my search for an 18 inch nipple befitting the scale of such a grand tassel.

Who Wore it Better: Pride Edition

My little homage to the famed Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert flip flop dress was awarded Most Dragalicious in a contest this month by Perez Hilton and Oscar winner Tim Chappel for the Anniversary DVD release @ OUTFEST. I won a great goodie bag & got to do some official press photos for my efforts. It was fun being on the mic telling upstaging the other contestants further shoving my personality down 300 audience members' throats. There was minimal gagging.

So who wore it better? I think I look better, but his dress is constructed better. But lets get down to brass tits. All in all, which flip flopper would you fuck?

Gay Pride Child Safety Warning

Witness this enormous choking hazard:


Happy Pride. Please recycle. Plastics, popper bottles, condoms. Yes. It's good for the envirornment. But it's also good for my lawn (which is 2 blocks from the main festival area). Empty, economy-size bottles of Bacardi and Stoli on my lawn makes me look like white trash. Next year, my yard will only accept Grey Goose & other top shelf refuse.

You can lead a phone to water but you can't make it work.

So I get home and look a window and see my 10 week old St. Bernard puppy Warner playing outside. So I go out my side door and get in the backyard and by that time I don't see him. Put then I see him in the pool. I shriek like a big queen and immediately jump in the pool to save him. But the little fucker instead decides to swim to me. He's doggy paddling (naturally). I get him out and go to grab a towel. The fucker jumped back in. He loves the water.

Not loving the water so much though? My Dolce & Gabbana Razr phone. Totally not a fan...

So if you're reading this and you know me personally (or just want me to call you and ask about your preference of the beef or the fish taco), email me your number.