(m)All or nothing.
George Carlin says that like a 100 billion people have lived on this earth. Do you ever pray to God? Think how many others do. I don't like to bother him. That's why I have a trick. I pray to dead relatives under the assumption that at least a few are in Heaven.
This came in handy while trying to squeeze my foot into a size 11 Gucci wedge this afternoon at the Beverly Center Gucci. Miss Niecy Nash herself (Clean House, Reno 911) came around the corner, gave me an up-down with her lashed eyes and did the "Aaoohkay" and gave a grin. I took that as her approval. She had a tatted up hunk-of-a-West-Philly brotha with her flowered head too. I hate when really dark skin dudes have lots of intricate tatts. I always want to get close so I can see but I don't wanna seem creepy. That might be too late since I may seem like a latent racist after that last paragraph.
After that I went to my favorite store Traffic. I was buying a bracelet for my boyfriend to apologize to me with. He's been playing texty-cathy with a 21 yr old fashion design student he met at a party. Texty-Cathy is a lot like being a Chatty-Cathy but this version includes mentions of ass sex, affairs, & passive-aggressive smiley faces ;)...I fuckin' hate those. The things in the few texts that I saw would make the type of man who has a riding lawn mower hurl. Baby Jesus wouldn't like them either but he can't read.
Anyway- while getting the bracelet, in walked Nathan Fields of the Janice Dickenson Modeling Company. He speaks like he gots a pool ball in the back of his throat; almost as if he's doing a constant bad Wayne's World imitation. Plus he was wearing sweats. People who wear sweatpants in public don't love themselves. Beverly Center skanks who wear a JLo tracksuits and Uggs think their Vuitton purse cancels out their bad attire choices. IT DOESN'T.
After this, I decided to take in the movie Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. And let me say this...The garlic-parmesan pretzel I ate before the previews were done had more intellectual content than this flick. Joy Bryant should have stuck to modeling.
So that was my day. I hope the pictures helped you.
This came in handy while trying to squeeze my foot into a size 11 Gucci wedge this afternoon at the Beverly Center Gucci. Miss Niecy Nash herself (Clean House, Reno 911) came around the corner, gave me an up-down with her lashed eyes and did the "Aaoohkay" and gave a grin. I took that as her approval. She had a tatted up hunk-of-a-West-Philly brotha with her flowered head too. I hate when really dark skin dudes have lots of intricate tatts. I always want to get close so I can see but I don't wanna seem creepy. That might be too late since I may seem like a latent racist after that last paragraph.
After that I went to my favorite store Traffic. I was buying a bracelet for my boyfriend to apologize to me with. He's been playing texty-cathy with a 21 yr old fashion design student he met at a party. Texty-Cathy is a lot like being a Chatty-Cathy but this version includes mentions of ass sex, affairs, & passive-aggressive smiley faces ;)...I fuckin' hate those. The things in the few texts that I saw would make the type of man who has a riding lawn mower hurl. Baby Jesus wouldn't like them either but he can't read.
Anyway- while getting the bracelet, in walked Nathan Fields of the Janice Dickenson Modeling Company. He speaks like he gots a pool ball in the back of his throat; almost as if he's doing a constant bad Wayne's World imitation. Plus he was wearing sweats. People who wear sweatpants in public don't love themselves. Beverly Center skanks who wear a JLo tracksuits and Uggs think their Vuitton purse cancels out their bad attire choices. IT DOESN'T.
After this, I decided to take in the movie Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. And let me say this...The garlic-parmesan pretzel I ate before the previews were done had more intellectual content than this flick. Joy Bryant should have stuck to modeling.
So that was my day. I hope the pictures helped you.
posted by willam at 7:33 PM
10 Comments:
How did a word like "fuck" become something terrible? WE fucked it up! ROFLMAO =D
-tj
"texty cathy" is the best line ever.
A- fucking-men sister regarding the sweats! The only time they are grudgingly OK is when you are coming or going to a yoga class or just had lipo. And don't even get me started when they have that crotch level area of pee-stain. Ew.
LOL I just wanted to say I love you.
Your wit is incredible ;)
pool ball or no, the boy is cute. niecy brought said thug lover to her birthday party last night. she was lookin' all kinds of fierce, too!!!
One day they will discover you just like they did Diablo Cody. Maybe you should start dancing on poles more often?
ok anonymous. You read this blog? if so, you're some kinda dick-off not to bring me to that party with you!
When are they going to outlaw Uggs? What kind of bracelet did you--I mean--your boyfriend get you?
You said, "People who wear sweatpants in public don't love themselves."
Can I get a witness and will someone puh-leeze inform this to my neighbor?
i also saw you at the gucci beverly hills buying the shoes......hmmmmmmm
Post a Comment
<< Home