Sunday, May 11, 2008

If ya threw a party & invited everyone you knew...

I have this one friend who's breasts come out every time she happens to go to a club. Usually her dress follows close behind the whole breast reveal moment.

Thankfully, this person is a mastermind at the tuck so the straight security guards tend to be pretty OK with it. She's hung like a beast from what I hear. I drew a pretty picture below with her.

That link/pic is soooooo NSFW (Not Safe For Work), NSFLDS (MORMONs), and also NSFM(MOMs-Happy Mother's day by the way, Ma!)

I just watched a movie that marked the first role I turned down, The Boys & Girls Guide to Getting Down. I actually was doublebooked so I recommended another friend, Kelly, who's in Tranny McGuyver the short film.
She's a really good friend of mine but unlike the other one, she keeps her breast in the drawer with her bra (her mother raised her right).

Now Kelly introduced me to my new idol Alexandra Billings. She's known most for her Grey's Anatomy appearance but I won't watch that show because I auditioned for the pilot and it didn't go so hot. Go read her blog. She's a brunette but totally not dishwater. It's got a rich, chestnut-ty glaze.

Anyway. Point is I know a lot of drag queens. Most I've done extra/background work with. We've come up with codes. Like if Candice Cash, Anna Nicole's go-to impersonator when she was alive, is on set with me, we could potentially have this kind of coversation:
WILLAM: Where's Shamantha?
CANDICE: She's trying for SAG
WILLAM: SAG? Shamantha non-union? She's totally union.
CANDICE: She's Sucking Actor Groin.

God knows where the grips'll get their kicks if us actors go on strike again like people are saying. Oral sex is is so frequent on sets that Central Casting will unregister you if you're caught.

But most lighting & camera grips on set are so irresistable! They look like Justin Timberlake in Alpha Dog but most can probably find their way outta that paper bag that JT just can't seem to act his way out of. Justin seriously blows as an actor.

Word is, JT refused an acting coach, saying he was a natural on Edison. How's a movie that's toplined by Morgan Freeman & Kevin Spacey not secure distribution after playing at festivals all over America? All signs pointed to JT's lack of acting chops.

As a disclaimer, I'd like to state that if Mr Timblerlake were to read this, the ladies mentioned in this column might enjoy his company. This I promise you. OH! he could sing that! Remember that song? She-Males LOVE n'Sync!

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

justin timberlake is a mancunt.

7:33 PM  
Blogger The_Aitch said...

I don't know what man-cunt is , all I know is I love him with a white hot passion and he makes my Hanes Her Way moist in the middle. I don't even care if that sounds gross either because I love him that much. So much I am willing to just totally let it all out there. This is me!!!

P.S.I love you Justin. Call me.
P.S.S. I thought You were kick ass in Black Snake Moan and can't wait to see you as Jacques Grande.

12:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow aitch, that was quite a colorful comment. Whew, let me loosen my color here. OK, there we go. Woo, AHEM! Yep.

-tj

8:20 PM  

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