Willam live blog reading.

I'm doing a wonderful reading on dirty little sex secrets.

I'll be recounting some wild tales including an all too close to home account of a toe-rape.

Press Release

Click above for the run down of the other esteemed (read: sicko) readers/performers.

IN THE FLESH: L.A. EROTIC READING SERIES


THURSDAY, MAY 29th at 8 PM
AT FREDDY AND EDDY, 12613 VENICE BOULEVARD, LOS ANGELES
(Three blocks West of Centinela on the North side, http://www.freddyandeddy.com)
Admission: Free, $10 suggested donation to RAINN (Rape & Incest Nat'l Network)

I'm doing it mainly because I'm a fan of neither inscest (which i think i just spelled wrong) or rape...'specially those toe ones.

Willam in Print

go read my article on gay marriage

Gay Express News

I'm fuckin pissed. I want the state to give me reparations. Provide some of that nice happy-cows-come-from-Cali cheese for the reception or something. Chip in on some Vera Wang for my bridal party, y'know?

In all seriousness, I just hope it doesn't get overturned. I've been with my boyfriend 6 years and I'd love to be validated and have the same rights as a straight person.

Public Transportation did this in WeHo

I went outside yesterday morning to take this picture after my dogs woke me when a big bang/thud/boom happened yesterday morning.
I already know what you're thinking and you need not worry.

I got June's Teen Vogue last week.

Bottom to Top and back down.

So the Legendary Bingo 10 Year Anniversary was this week. I ended up on E! news the following evening and on a bunch of entertainment websites. Needless to say, I was erect all afternoon.

I got to call bingo games wtih 5 different celebs. Peter Paige of Queer as Folk, the little tranny child from The Riches, my fave new friend Ross the Intern of The Tonight Show, the chubby girl from Facts of Life, and finally Reichen.

I've been chummy with Reichen for about 5 years and he's one of those people that you can pick up right where you left off. His beau of a year, Ryan, a butch & smart trainer/model was there too.
We had some drinks. Ryan got handsy in the best possible way. He showed me how to cut off my air supply right above my carotid artery to get a headrush. Y'know. Cause we were bored.

We had some more drinks.

Here's where the photos will get helpful. Y'know how when gay guys get drunk, they instantly think they're Tyra Banks? I'm not pointing any fingers but there was something something being served up (as you can see)


By the end of the debauched evening, THIS....

had turned into THIS....



High Heel Hijackery! Ryan walked almost as good as me. Kick-ass calves on that boy.

It was ironic too. The week before, a certain famous guy came to a bar I book the strippers at & tried to convince one of the gogo boys to leave with him for $1000. Sounds fishy to you? I shoulda told Reichen about it since I'm pretty sure he knows the guy but I'm not one to gossip (as you all well know).

Anyway...fun night. Come check me out calling Bingo on 5/28 @ Hamburger Mary's.

And when they STILL won't take your picture...

You lay on the red carpet so that no celebrity can get on or would want to.
Proceed to act like a slut with Rabies and yell about your shoes being Yves St. Laurent.

Paparazzi may not like it but the TV cameras do. And that's how you get on E!

If ya threw a party & invited everyone you knew...

I have this one friend who's breasts come out every time she happens to go to a club. Usually her dress follows close behind the whole breast reveal moment.

Thankfully, this person is a mastermind at the tuck so the straight security guards tend to be pretty OK with it. She's hung like a beast from what I hear. I drew a pretty picture below with her.

That link/pic is soooooo NSFW (Not Safe For Work), NSFLDS (MORMONs), and also NSFM(MOMs-Happy Mother's day by the way, Ma!)

I just watched a movie that marked the first role I turned down, The Boys & Girls Guide to Getting Down. I actually was doublebooked so I recommended another friend, Kelly, who's in Tranny McGuyver the short film.
She's a really good friend of mine but unlike the other one, she keeps her breast in the drawer with her bra (her mother raised her right).

Now Kelly introduced me to my new idol Alexandra Billings. She's known most for her Grey's Anatomy appearance but I won't watch that show because I auditioned for the pilot and it didn't go so hot. Go read her blog. She's a brunette but totally not dishwater. It's got a rich, chestnut-ty glaze.

Anyway. Point is I know a lot of drag queens. Most I've done extra/background work with. We've come up with codes. Like if Candice Cash, Anna Nicole's go-to impersonator when she was alive, is on set with me, we could potentially have this kind of coversation:
WILLAM: Where's Shamantha?
CANDICE: She's trying for SAG
WILLAM: SAG? Shamantha non-union? She's totally union.
CANDICE: She's Sucking Actor Groin.

God knows where the grips'll get their kicks if us actors go on strike again like people are saying. Oral sex is is so frequent on sets that Central Casting will unregister you if you're caught.

But most lighting & camera grips on set are so irresistable! They look like Justin Timberlake in Alpha Dog but most can probably find their way outta that paper bag that JT just can't seem to act his way out of. Justin seriously blows as an actor.

Word is, JT refused an acting coach, saying he was a natural on Edison. How's a movie that's toplined by Morgan Freeman & Kevin Spacey not secure distribution after playing at festivals all over America? All signs pointed to JT's lack of acting chops.

As a disclaimer, I'd like to state that if Mr Timblerlake were to read this, the ladies mentioned in this column might enjoy his company. This I promise you. OH! he could sing that! Remember that song? She-Males LOVE n'Sync!

Porn & Blessin's

I rent out my house for celebrity photo shoots quite often. Access Hollywood has done spots here and cast members of nip/tuck, Dirt, Dexter, It's Always Sunny in Phila, & Dancing with the Stars have shot here. Basically, my house is more famous than me.

So I took the leap and started to rent out my place for porn.

Today I made a major faux pas. People were showing up and I was giving out parking passes and stuff. I came back in the house and was like hmmm...that's strange.

I blurted out, "when do the other girls get here?" because I saw 3 big porno dudes and only one girl.

Little Miss Porno looks me dead in the eye and says "What other girls?" then she looks at the makeup artist and says, "Are there other girls coming?"

I then made a joke about Tupperware and it's airtight nature that Little Miss Lady totally did not understand.

Bless her heart. God loves a multi-tasker.

Everyone should have such problems

Work has been great lately. Did 3 movies in a row with lines in all and one as a boy (3 second allowance for you to pick your jaws up off the floor)
Also, this one TV show called Californication released a breakdown for "transvestite hooker mid 20's" and I thought I'd be a shoe-in.
So my agent calls in and they know exactly who I am. The casting chick tells Agent Extraordinaire that the Californication showrunner Tom told the casting department to Google the "tranny from nip/tuck" because he didn't want me. Said I was good but "overexposed." Good to know I'm famously overexposed to all of like 1 person in Hollywood.

In other shitty/wonderful news, I have a short maid.
I'm sorry. Petite Housekeeper is much nicer. It's shitty that she can't dust above 5.5 feet as seen here on my mirror but it's wonderful I don't have to clean.

But I'll tell ya one thing 'bout Miss Blanca. Bitch is getting some heels. Or wait. No. a Step Ladder. Yea. Step Ladder would be much more appropriate and humane.