Seriously. I might retire.
My last few auditions (Dexter
, Sarah Connor Chronicles
, Mind of Mencia
& Kath & Kim
) have all resulted in no jobs.
Casting director feedback has ranged from "can't do pretty AND funny" to "we went ethnic" to "No."
These shows all at least called me straight into the producers' session, meaning I went straight to the top instead of being screened by the casting director (a.k.a pre-read). I have a quickie 1 minute reel my agent can send out so they can know I'm competent.
So let me tell you about my adventure with The New Adventures of Old Christine
I go in last Wednesday in full drag mid afternoon 98 degrees to Warner Brothers. Enter the room, say the 1 line & leave. As I'm driving home, my email blinks up on my phone that I have an appointment with the same office on Monday. Then I realize that only the casting director was in the room and they weren't videoing to cast of tape. I got motherfuckin pre-read.
So I take Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday to work on the one line. "SEE YOU LATER." Quite happy that I have a full day to devote to each syllable.
After the callback, my friend Kelly
and I walked out and she was telling me how the Exec Producer lady laughed and commented when she read the one line. She only giggled at mine. I knew Kelly got it. And being so, I saw no further reason to hurt my feet anymore in tacky hooker pumps.
...and I walked to the car barefoot. I left them in there. Ask Kelly. I'm done. Apparently, television is telling me "y'know what?...we're good. take the year off."
Upon arrival at my house, I ate a whole box of Lean Pockets. There's only two in there but still, that's a lot for me. Plus while the first one was cooking, I decided to see if I could gnaw into the frozen one.
I'm really happy for Kelly though. He/She's not even a frenemy. Just a normal friend. I knew I shoulda told casting about the Judging Amy
incident in where Tyne Daly got mad after trying to finger Kelly. Oh well. CBS couldn't find her vagina. Up to NBC now.