The Life

I'm in a show @ the Stella Adler Theater.

Come see it.

It's a lot like The Miracle Worker if Helen Keller matured into a transvestite hooker named April in Times Square circa 1983 then cured her blindness & deafness with a steady diet of nasty Jersey Turnpike/Lincoln Tunnel tricking.

The best part of my character is she's stupid and mean. Oh wait. Sorry. Character would imply acting.


Come see it anyway. Click here for tickets.

Oh that's the link to get the cheap tickets. & yea. There's a naked hot guy in it and if you wanna see a bit of snatchateria, the girls got plenty of fan kicks.

Transpopo

Thoughts on transportation for the Holiday season:

That Amistad ship was a more hospitable form of getting to & fro than Southwest Airlines. I saw an actual physical fight in the boarding process and lots of yelling once on board.

Don't get pulled over in drag. When cops ask what kind of work you do and you reply with "performer," they'll then ask "Well what do you perform?" stupidly as if you mean random acts of charitable oral sex sessions.
I'm a showgirl. Deal with it, Pig. We both got uniforms. Don't give me a problem because mine has sequins.

Finally, the subway system in LA works on the honor code. I don't really know what that means but it's so cool that you don't have to buy tickets to ride.

Pugilism

So I'm rehearsals for The Life six days a week and decided to relax on my 1 day off...in Vegas.
My BF, me & some friends all went to the Hatton v Malignaggi boxing match. It was one of the gayer sporting events I ever saw. Two grown ass men fighting over a pretty belt. One wore a skirt and sneakers with tassels while Brit fashion plate Hatton decided on a more understated glitter shorts with fringe.

This drunk ass burrough bitch was yelling for NYC hometown boy Malignaggi. Between chants of "let's go Hatton," Burrough bitch yelled "FAGGOT" and then "GAYLORD."

First off all, who the fuck says Gaylord anymore? I heard that taunt in like grammar school.

I had to turn around and tell this C U Next Tuesday that the gays in front of her thought her dress was ugly. Her bear of a boyfriend was thankfully drunk and confused as she flicked me off.

The last football game I went to in Missouri found a drunk bitch with roots behind me yelling about star Mizzou quarterback "Chase Daniels has AIDS."

It's no wonder that Troy Aikman & Magic Johnson never came outta the closet.

The Marches

So I went to the march for Gay Marriage on downtown LA. It was totally inspiring. Darryl Stephens spoke and was one of the ones that held my attention a bit more rapt than some other speakers. Granted, I was drunk. Thank you to the police for not giving a shit that I was chugging from a bottle of mini-Vueve.

But after marching almost 4 miles, we got to a sandy field with like a churro cart, some water vendors and a lady randomly selling yams. I was dissappointed there wasn't something to keep us there and together. Was Tiffany busy or something? They couldn't drag her red-headed ass outta bed?

And isn't the point of a march/protest to disrupt something to make people pay attention? To have it in downtown LA (which is a ghosttown on weekends without the business folk doing their thing) made it equatable to a giant, very boring scavenger hunt that had no clues. We just walked and no one knew where we were going.

Step turn pivot touch FIRED step turn. AGAIN.

Scott Eckern, Artistic Director for California Musical Theatre, resigned his post today after musical theater directors & writers threatened to pull all show rights (like Wicked, Hairspray, etc) after his $1000 donation to Yes on Prop 8 in California banning gay marriage.

America may already have a president but Queens still sure do rule in this democracy.

I voted...& was DEMOTED

Voters in California approved Prop 2, a measure to halt the inhumane confinement of animals on factory farms by an overwhelming margin.

Prop 8, passing by a less than 3% majority, will change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California. A new section would be added stating "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California." I'm thankful that this will not be retroactive, leaving my marriage legal, but sad al...Y'know what. I'm not sad. I'm fuckin angry

Livestock 1. Willam 0.

Game on chickens.

Spoonful of...

I just heard about a young gay guy dressed as a pseudo Peter Pan got kicked outta DisneyLand during Gay Days He was wearing the faggy little green outfit with some modifications and different shorts.
It was quoted that he was "ruining the magic."

I just don't get it. I mean there's tons of girls running around in princess dresses and that's fine even though Cinderella wasn't 5...or Hispanic.

Disney can suck it

Halloween

I'm everyone's best friend on Halloween. Wigs, dresses, makeup, tuckin techniques.
When a friend asks, can you show me how to do my makeup, that's really just them saying can I look at you pathetically until you just do it for me?

I actually sorta like transforming everyone. I helped the Hulk, the prison whore, and a few others. We prepped/drank at my house in West Hollywood 2 blocks away from the 2nd largest Halloween festival in the nation (Greenwich Village being #1).
Many asked who I was. I told them I was an Urban Cliche at first but I switched to Rock of Love Contestant after a bit.
Of course there were many traditional costumes. And that ain't Snow White below, that's Ho White. Her dyke wife was dressed as a pimp and the smoke wafting through the frame was from her blunt. Love it!

After that we went off to Hollywood for Miss Kitty's hosted by the inimitable
Calpernia Addams. Miss Lady C.A. was playing electric violin for reals while some rabid wolf gogo boys went to work on her and red riding hood's snatchaterias. Little Red is the one in the white panties. I knew she was gonna get eaten by dem wolves when she took her titties out.

Totally a misappropriation of this story but whatevs.

After that, my crew rolled to downtown LA to an underground club called Shits & Giggles.
Where there was this:




Then this...
I was just happy to finally wear my new Biggie/Tupac dress. They're like the Maya Angelou's of our generation.