Dear Blanca,
You've been helping me keep my house tidy for almost five years. I love you more than unnecessary organs like the pancreas.
But if you hide my Goo-Gone one more time on me, I'm going to learn Panamanian just so I can yell at your in your native tongue.
The Goo-Gone is kept under my bathroom sink for a reason. I spray it on my balls to get rid of any adhesive. While we're on the topic, stop moving the duct tape from my bra drawer to the garage. Just think of my closet as Homo Depot. Baby oil is for pussies. I need a friggin' man's solvent.
& Maybe you shouldn't consider my house a 4 bedroom since my closet is actually a converted bedroom. I mean God forbid you don't get to go on a 20 day cruise of the Mediterranean sea again this year. Just sayin...
I'm Kidding. You're my everything. Thank you for organizing my "chi-chis." That's what she calls my fake boobs (& i have like 10 different sets for different reasons)
Love,
Miss Williao.
(yes- that's how she spells my name on her calender. It's pronounced like the 80's movie with a little tamale thrown on top)
But if you hide my Goo-Gone one more time on me, I'm going to learn Panamanian just so I can yell at your in your native tongue.
The Goo-Gone is kept under my bathroom sink for a reason. I spray it on my balls to get rid of any adhesive. While we're on the topic, stop moving the duct tape from my bra drawer to the garage. Just think of my closet as Homo Depot. Baby oil is for pussies. I need a friggin' man's solvent.
& Maybe you shouldn't consider my house a 4 bedroom since my closet is actually a converted bedroom. I mean God forbid you don't get to go on a 20 day cruise of the Mediterranean sea again this year. Just sayin...
I'm Kidding. You're my everything. Thank you for organizing my "chi-chis." That's what she calls my fake boobs (& i have like 10 different sets for different reasons)
Love,
Miss Williao.
(yes- that's how she spells my name on her calender. It's pronounced like the 80's movie with a little tamale thrown on top)
posted by willam at 2:34 PM
8 Comments:
Much has been written about the relationship between homosexuals and their mothers. Perhaps more attention should be paid to the relationhip between homosexuals and their cleaning ladies. Or cleaning gentlemen, but that's less complex.
Dear Willam,
Thank you for the helpful tip about Goo-Gone. I had avoided using duct-tape as I could not stand the thought of removing the residue. Now armed with this information, I will start fresh....
This is curiously, disarmingly touching! You are so sweet, Miss Williao! As is the idea of your kindly cleaning lady lovingly sorting your collection of boobs.
Balls-Be-Gone? Anything with the word 'solvent' on the back of the bottle doesn't need to go anywhere near my bait & tackle. You're fearless Willam.
I feel your love towards housekeepers: I couldn't live without mine. She's Brazilian and finds dirt that even TMZ couldn't unearth. Impressive lady.
BN
Holy Moses, that stuff MUST be soaking into your veins. She's probably hiding it because she doesn't want you dead.
your new name is Williao.
Something a bit safer to use would be eucalyptus oil. It works great for removing sticky stuff from objects and skin! On my bottle it says to massage affected areas..so go for it! By the way, love your blog
id love to have a closet as big as yours!!!!
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