I will tell you a thing or two about a Piece Of Shit or two

My friend Fighting Mad Mary regulary does product reviews and it inspired me to get back in the game.

Introducing BumpIts.
Notice there's no "!" afterwards. That's because I'm less than thrilled with this product.

I tried it. It sucked. It's intended to be inserted under the crown of one's hair to achieve a higher profile in the back. It barely worked in a wig. I'm sure it's great for whores who have to lay down a lot and need to poof-up their 'do before hitting the block again. But my grandmother always said "Don't trust a woman who doesn't know how to backcomb." She kinda mumbled it because she talked with a ciggy but you get it. Teasing is essential

And even if you do get it to work, what if you're playing "I-love-it-when-you-call-me-big-poppa" from behind with your man? He yanks a bit (even though he knows he's not suppose to touch your hair) & then this p.o.s. falls out. He's gonna think you're a robot & pieces are needing to be sent in for warranty. Fucked up to scare your boy like that. No wonder if he thinks you should get implants.

The point is, this is God telling you that if you're not willing to do your hair, he and the rest of the holy family don't think you don't deserve the volume.