Checking in.

You ever make stupid bets with yourself? I made a stupid one last night after drinking.

I bet myself that I could take off all the polish on my nails before I finished taking a leak. Admitedly, I usually use at least one hand while pissing but it's not a prerequisite.

OH! I was drunk too. That was the variable that made the house win in this wager. I mean even if I did win, it's like "woo hoo!" Not like it took any talent. But as the loser, I got to clean up urine.

I lost and my cuticles burned from the acetone. Fucked up my bathmat too.

Mismatch Game pt. II

Come see me in The Mismatch Game at the Renberg Theater on Friday 7/24 @ 8pm, Saturday 7/25 @ 8pm or Sunday 7/26 @ 7pm. Only $15!

Click HERE for tickets

If you need a refresher on what exactly this show is, g'head and Click this shit.

Hope to see you there or at least pretend to see you there because the glare of the lights (& fame) makes it impossible to discern individual's faces.

Things I Learned in Texas

I expected Texas to be more country than well...section 8-ey. All the girls & crew I worked with were the exception to this. Nothing but drawls/accents that just wanna make you take your panties off & hand em over. None of the trans girls/drag queens in it are hookers either. No trading skiball tickets for some assplay.

For your consideration, may I submit the forest green limo that was for sale in my motel's parking lot?


Wanna hear some disease slang? If someone has a House In Virginia or an Apartment In Delaware w/ Stairs, you definitely wanna grab a rubber.

Can anyone guess what this is?

here's a hint-
Fog machines sound exactly like hot fajitas sizzling! Especially when you're hungry and your asshole is taped shut because your dress is made outta half a yard of fabric. (if you guessed it was my dicktape- YOU WIN! I use a stretch adhesive vinyl). Speaking of food, there were like tons of oyster and seafood bars. Kinda unsettling when the nearest ocean is like 8 hours away, no?

Sunscreen is a necessity in Dallas.

Obviously, it was not a control top day. The term REDNECK actually refers to country folk being outside and getting sunburned necks. I didn't know that.
My face below I think particularly displays my ignorance and re-education to all the above matters.


I fly back for some additional shooting in the upcoming weeks and will have more info then to post about release dates, cast, etc...

Road to the Altar

So I filmed a day on what turned into the little web series that could.
It's all about a Jewish bride marrying a hot African American guy played by Jaleel White (who's so past the Urkel thing).
There's only 2 episodes I'm in but they were funny enough that they were shown at the premier out of all 12. We've also been featured on Entertainment Tonight and Huffington post. Huffington post always sounds like it's about puffin birds to me or something but it's not. Below is my v-log/videoblog wrap up interview as Jamie, the wedding party outfitter. I wrote it, too.

Check it out on youtube and subscribe to it please.
www.roadtothealtar.com

Pocket Dialing Fun

Since my name begins with a W, I'm the last person in many people's phones. Do you know any Xander's, Yadi's or Zeb's? Yea. No (unless your a vampire, Cuban or Mormon right?) I get a lot of calls from people sitting on their phones wrong or whatever
So today I get a pocket dial from a gogo boy. If you think it's wrong that I listened until it hung up, you're reading the wrong blog by the way.

So here's the transcription.

"I haven't been doing it for that long again. I relapsed when he died last week. My family was cruel to me and Michael was my only comfort when I was young before I found drugs."

editor note: OH MY GOD. he's talking about Michael Jackson i think.

"you want another hit? Let me do that. Yea. Like that."

editor note: I literally put my hand over my mouth to contain my laughter and looked around to see if anyone was watching like i was doing something wrong.

Ok...next- imagine what a pig would sound like trying to eat a watermelon? That's the closest thing I could think of before I realized someone was sucking this dancer's cock while his phone was in his pocket. I felt like a baby in the womb listening to his mother suck a dick.

Hopefully, I'll be able to apply this moment in a scene study class or somehow incorporate it into my work when needed.