Dear Drag Queen
It's because you reached into the back of your skirt, yanked something then dug into the front of your stockings.
You, messy drag queen, were kind enough to put whatever it was you were acquiring onto the floor beneath you.
Your fatal flaw, the one that caused the look of disgust on one of your late-night dining companions, was but for the fact that you REACHED FOR A NACHO OUT OF THE COMMUNAL CHIP BOWL.
How much tequila did you drink to think that this was OK?
Nasty Bitch. You almost ruined the guacomole and salsa. No one at the table asked for a side of Pico de dicktape.
p.s. This note is kinda a note-to-self. It's exactly what it is.