STUNNING @ First & Hope

Come out and hit the new classy-ass dinner show at First & Hope, a new speak easy/Cotton Club type of throwback eatery/hotspot.

Calpernia Addams, Detox Icunt, myself and others will be doing an hour long LIVE dinner show. No lipsynching. I'll be doing an homage to drive by's & some Nina Simone.

Included in the ticket price is a four course gourmet meal, one handjob (redeemable only on-site) and free valet parking (really it's a homeless dude who will alternate between napping, urinating & smoking crack in your car, but whatevs-it's downtown).

Click here for Tickets to Stunning @ First & Hope

Don't F(eed) with Texas.

Dear Texas,
Please talk to your local sex workers. Muffintopping your underwear is one thing.


But this is like doublestuff sheetcake pan overflow disaster on TLC's Cake Wars. I'm shocked that this is what cuts it to gogo dance in fort worth.
They wouldn't even let this guy in the bath houses here in LA...on a WEEKDAY.

Love,
Boxmeat, Inc.

Dear 200 lb tumor lady,

I just watched your story on Discovery Health. A whole hour of tumor removal programming during the dinner hour. Not so hot. Let's program it mid afternoon next time.

Also, in the event that you get another tumor- you may want to address the problem before it gets to the 200 lb. mark. Maybe check in with a doctor when it hits 75 lbs or at the least the triple digit mark.

Just a suggestion.

WILLAM